Catch Me When I Fall
by timisdelicious
Summary: After Jude picks Jamie, an accident brings Tommy and Jude closer. Jommy story.
1. Prologue

**Catch Me When I Fall**

**Prologue**

I saw him five minutes before it happened. I was unfaithful and returned to Tommy. He saw us kissing in the studio, and he left angrily.

"Jamie, wait please!" I called after him as I weaved through the traffic of people on the sidewalk.

"Ya know what Jude? I knew this was too good to be true!" he shouted back at me.

"Jamie, it was an accident! A stupid accident!" I grabbed his arm and he pushed me away.

"No! Don't touch me!"

"Jamie, please…" We were in the middle of an intersection, which both of us failed to notice before it was too late.

A loud honk from a taxi brought us out of our bickering. We both turned our heads to the side and saw it coming. Jamie pushed me back and I fell to the floor on the sidewalk. The green and orange car hit him, sending him rolling across the top of the vehicle, then the trunk and on to the floor.

I gasped loudly. All traffic in middle of downtown Toronto. I ran over to him, "Jamie!"

I knelt next to him and brought his head into my lap. He groaned, "Ow…that hurt…a lot."

"I'm so sorry, Jamie."

"Not your fault," he whispered.

"Jude!" I turned and saw Tommy making his way through the crowd around us.

"Is it a little chilly out here or is it just me?" Jamie asked, staring straight up into the sky. I sobbed as I pulled my hand out from under his head, finding blood, which was soaking into my jeans as well.

"Jamie," I whispered. "I'm sorry."

"No," he said, "no… Jude, it's bright."

"Jamie!" I sobbed. "Don't do this, please don't."

"Is Tommy here?"

My eye brows scrunched and I looked over my shoulder to Tommy, who was wearing the same confused expression.

"Uh…yeah, he's here."

"Bring him over, please?" I looked at Tommy again and nodded for him to come over. He took cautious steps toward and walked around. He sat on the other side of Jamie.

"Yeah man?" he asked.

"Do me a favor, please," he said. More tears produced in my eyes.

"Sure," Tommy said. "Anything."

"Take care of our girl," he whispered as they both looked at me.

"With my life," Tommy whispered.

"Love her," Jamie continued, "please, don't leave her. Don't hurt her."

"I won't," Tommy said looking at me, then looking back at Jamie. "I won't, I swear."

"Good. Make some sexy Jommy babies, you got me?"

We both chuckled and I said, "I'll try."

Jamie coughed a bit. "You're a good guy Little Tommy Q."

I saw Tommy's eyes rim with tears, "Likewise Andrews."

"And Jude?"

"Yeah?" I asked.

Jamie's eye lids fluttered closed as he slowly let out, "I…love…you…"

He felt limp in my arms. I let out a loud sob and cupped his face. Tommy was beginning to cry, as well as some of the people around us. "Jamie, baby, please?" I put my ear to his chest, finding there was no heart beat.

Jamie was dead.

And it was my fault.


	2. Vulnerable

**Chapter One: Vulnerable**

"Jude."

I stirred. I didn't want to wake up knowing Jamie wasn't gonna be there when I woke up, or when I went to work. He died three days ago, and I could barely leave my bed. Tommy slept next to me, bought me several tubs of ice cream, and he rented movies. All the gestures made me smile softly at him. He was being cautious around me, almost walking on egg shells – I knew it.

"Babe, wake up."

That was another thing. Tommy developed pet names, like I was his girlfriend. "Baby," "honey," "babe." I liked them and he called me them throughout our three day relationship.

Right now, I didn't want to wake up. I knew that if I woke up I'd do it to make funeral arrangements for Jamie.

I wasn't ready to do that.

Jamie was 19 years old – he wasn't planning to die. I had no idea what he'd want.

"Jude…"

I felt lips – soft, full, pouty lips – on my neck. Fingers ran through my hair, down my back, settling on my hip.

"I can't," I whispered. "I'm not ready."

"Hon, no body's ready to plan a funeral."

"Tommy," I sobbed, "I'm not ready." I felt his fingers entwine with mine. He pulled me closer and kissed the top of my head. "This is all my fault."

"Not it's not, Jude. This isn't your fault."

I shot up, turning to him. Tommy looked scared, holding his hands up in a surrender fashion. "Not my fault!? How the hell can you say that!?"

"Jude, it wasn't – "

"Yes it was. It was my fault! I had to go and kiss you – "

"No, Jude. I kissed you."

"I kiss back because I…"

I swallowed my feelings, "because I was caught up in the moment. I shouldn't have kissed you back. We shouldn't be together right now!" I got up off his really, really comfy bed and grabbed my jeans.

"Aw, baby, c'mon don't – "

"Don't call me that!" I shouted louder than I ever intended. He quieted down and bit his lip. "Look I just lost my boyfriend and I'm really sad right now. I can't jump into a relationship with you."

"He said it was what he wanted!" he yelled, getting off the bed.

"He was lying in the street, Tommy! He was dying!"

"I know!!" He screamed. "I know," he repeated in a lower voice. "But we can't stay on it forever Jude. Isn't it oblivious by now? We're meant to be, Jude."

"Oh really?" I asked. "Go tell Angie that." I grabbed my bag and turned my back on him.

"How can you be so cold?" he asked and I stopped short. "You lost someone you love, I get that, I know how that feels. But I would never use Jamie's death against you." I heard him sniffle and my knees got weak. "I love you, Jude. And all I want is to be with you."

I turned around and dropped my things. I ran into his arms and felt his arms wrap tightly around my waist.

--

I ended my phone conversation with the funeral home and sighed, fall back against the couch. I was sitting on the floor. Tommy was sitting next to me, writing in a journal.

"Everything's…set," I sighed. Tommy looked at me and put the book down.

"I'm very proud of you," he said sincerely. I gave him a weak, sad smile.

"Thank you."

He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. I snuggled against him, feeling so safe it made me cry. "Hey," he whispered as he wiped a tear away from under my eye. I sniffled. "Don't cry, girl."

"I can't help it," I chuckled sadly.

Tommy smiled and pulled back a little. "I wrote a song."

"Really?" I smiled. "Let me hear it."

"Are you sure? I don't want you to cry more."

"I promise I'll try as hard as I can."

He smirked. "OK. He picked up the guitar on his other side and did a quick tuning. He began to strum a beautiful song.

"Share with me the blankets that your wrapped in  
Because its cold outside cold outside its cold out side  
Share with me the secrets that you kept in  
Because its cold inside cold inside its cold inside

And your slowly shaking finger tips  
Show that your scared like me so  
Let pretend were alone  
And I know you may be scared  
And I know were unprepared  
But I don't care

Tell me tell me  
What makes you think that you are invincible  
I can see it in your eyes that your so sure  
Please don't tell me that I am the only one that's vulnerable  
Impossible

I was born to tell you I love you  
Its that a song already  
I get a B in originality  
And its true I cant go on without you  
Your smile makes me see clear  
If you could only see in the mirror what I see

And your slowly shaking finger tips  
Show that your scared like me so  
Let pretend were alone  
And I know you may be scared  
And I know were unprepared  
But I don't care

Tell me tell me  
What makes you think that you are invincible  
I can see it in your eyes that your so sure  
Please don't tell me that I am the only one that's vulnerable  
Impossible

Slow down girl your not going anywhere  
Just wait around and see  
Maybe I am much more you never no what lies ahead  
I promise I can be anyone I can be anything  
Just because you were hurt doesn't mean you shouldn't bleed  
I can be anyone anything I promise I can be what you need

Tell me tell me  
What makes you think that you are invincible  
I can see it in your eyes that your so sure  
Please don't tell me that I am the only one that's vulnerable  
Impossible…"

Tommy ended with a soft strum. I let out a sigh I didn't know I'd been holding.

"So," he said, moving the guitar back to his side. "What'd you think?"

I tilted my head to the side and leaned in, kissing his lips softly and a lot shorter than I'd like to. When I pulled back I saw his eyes still closed and his lips still puckered, waiting to be kissed again. I giggled softly and kissed him again. This time, it was more passionate. Tommy's hand slid up my back to my head, where he entangled his fingers in my hair.

I pulled back from him and brought my hands to his face. His eyes shone bright in the pink and orange-light-filled room. The sun had been setting.

Huskily, Tommy whispered, "I love you girl."

I licked my lips and smiled, "I know."


	3. Slipped Away

**Chapter Two: Slipped Away**

Two days after I kissed Tommy, I was sitting in a funeral home, watching around me as everyone mourned Jamie Andrews. Most of G Major was here, along with someone of Jamie's friends from high school. I bit my lip and felt Tommy's arm wrap around my shoulders. I couldn't wait till this damn day was over and I was back with Tommy at his apartment. Last night after we kissed again, we agreed to take things very slow.

I turned to my kinda/sorta/almost boyfriend. He kissed my forehead and pulled me closer. I let out a shaky breath and felt tears in my eyes. "It's alright to cry," Tommy whispered.

Was it really?

--

The next day, we buried Jamie Andrews. I wore an expressionless face. Sadie, Kwest, Darius, and Mason stood on my left, while just Tommy and Jamie's nana stood on my right. Tommy was holding my hand.

"Please pay your last respects at this time," the minister said. Jamie's nana walked forward and placed a white rose on Jamie's coffin. Tommy did the same, as did I. We all went in a line, ending with Mason.

How was I gonna do this? Go on without Jamie? I glanced at Tommy and saw him turn his head to me. All I could do was hope that Tommy would keep his promise to Jamie.

--

A week after Jamie was buried, I walked into Tommy's apartment.

"Tommy?" I called out.

"In the bedroom!"

I took off my jacket and put it down with my bag on the couch. I walked down the hall and went into Tommy's room. He was watching something intently on the TV.

"It's not porn, right?" I joked.

"No," he said. "It's about you."

My head turned to the screen and saw it was that documentary thing I did a year back.

"Why did you hurt me?" I saw my 18 year old self ask Tommy. "Even after you swore you wouldn't anymore?"

I sighed and grabbed the remote. "Wait Jude, don't – " I clicked off and turned to him.

"Why bother?" I asked.

He shrugged, "I never really saw it." I nodded and walked closer to the bed. Tommy moved to the foot of the bed, where he sat with his legs over the edge, on the floor. I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead on my stomach. I licked my lips and cupped his face in my hands. He looked up at me. His hand slid up the back of my thigh and stopped right under my butt. We held a staring contest, which he won since he surprised me and pulled me down on top of him. We began to kiss.

He grabbed my ass, causing me to gasp and he pushed his tongue into my mouth. I wrapped my arms around his neck, one of my hands at the back of his head, my fingers entangled in his hair. We continuously rolled around on the bed. I felt his hands at the hem of my shirt. I let him pull it up and over my head before we kissed again. He pulled away from my mouth and I looked at his button down shirt before ripping it open, the buttons popping in different directions. I slid my hands up his bare chest, to his shoulders, sliding the material off his shoulders.

Tommy took his shirt off and threw to the side of us. I shivered and he stopped kissing me. "You OK?" he whispered. I nodded.

"Just nervous."

Tommy began to kiss my neck while whispering, "Don't be nervous; you're with me."

"That's what scares me most." Tommy's lips trailed up my jaw, to my lips, which he kissed. Jamie died not even two weeks ago, and here I was about to have sex with Tommy. I shook my head, "No." I pushed him off me and got off the bed, "I can't."

"Jude…"

"No! I just lost my boyfriend and here I am spreading my legs for you."

"Jude, babe, c'mon; It's not like that." He walked over to me and wrapped me in his arms. I let him hold me and wrapped my arms around his neck. I began to cry.

"You don't know how I feel," I sobbed.

"Jude, yes I do," he said as he pulled back. His hands held my face. "But you can't blame yourself Jude. You'll never forgive yourself."

"I…" I tried to pull out of his embrace, but his eyes held me to him.

"It'll be OK."

I shook my head, "No… It won't. Because Jamie's not here anymore."

"Jude!" He pulled away form me. "C'mon. Don't act like you loved him."

"I did!" I screamed at him. "I did… But not nearly as much as I should have."

"Why won't you just say it? I tell you I love you everyday."

"I know," I said, looking down at my feet. "It wouldn't be fair to Jamie for me to jump into your arms two weeks after he died!" Tommy opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off, "No, don't. I shouldn't be here right now." I grabbed my shirt and pulled it over my head. I left the bedroom and was on my way to the door when Tommy grabbed my arm. He spun me around and pushed me against the wall. His arms boxed me in, one of his hands on each side of my head.

"Tell me you don't love me."

"Tommy, stop!" I said through gritted teeth.

"Just tell me and I'll let you go."

"I…"

_Stop. Now. Don't lie to him_, Jude, I told my self. _Tell him you love him!_

"You can't do it can you?" he whispered. I reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. Something I always did when I was nervous. "Just let me love you girl."

"Not right now. Tommy if you love me at all, you'll understand that." Tommy sighed and dropped his forehead to mine.

"I do love you, and I understand."

"Thank you," I whispered. I kissed his lips softly and he dropped his arms, letting me walk away.


End file.
